The Top Ten Answers to the "How Many Hipsters…" Light Bulb Joke

This hipster joke has lots of answers, so we’re gonna try and give you a world of options on how to answer it. See this way, no matter what happens, you’ll always be one step ahead of your friends and neighbors. Got a better one? Leave it in the comments…
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1. It is a really obscure number and you have probably never heard of it. (or, some obscure number you’ve never heard of.)
2. Who cares? The light bulb was better before it changed.
3. At least 5 to scrape enough change together to buy the light bulb in the first place.
4. However many Pitchfork says it takes to change a light bulb
5. Who cares? it’ll just be another tired rehashing of the way Lou Reed changes light bulbs.
6. Only 3 when they did it at the black cat, but this time through town it took 9 for some reason.
7. Nobody changes lightbulbs since they signed with that major label.
8. Two. One to change it in an ironic fashion and one to get it.
9. Who can tell through these fake hornrims and manicured scruff?
10. *sigh* I have this joke on vinyl.

and the original answer:

11. (Snotily) You mean you don’t knooooow?

via, via and via; picture via BoingBoing.


  1. Mr. Charlie says:

    2: 1 to change the bulb and the other to judge harshly.

  2. This is an awesome top ten list.
    You can make your own on my buddy’s site

  3. 13. Two. One to screw it in and the other to photograph it for myspace.

  4. 13. Two. One to screw it in and the other to photograph it for myspace.

  5. 2. None, they all wanna do the same thing.

  6. anonymous says:

    two. one to screw it in and one to upcycle it on etsy when it burns out.

  7. A: Whatever, I liked gas lights before they sold out and became lightbulbs. Their old illumination was so much better.

  8. That depends, does the lightbulb come in v-neck?

  9. Lightbulbs are too mainstream. I use candles.

  10. Only one. But he has to make sure it is cool first.

  11. 7: (1) barely attractive female hipster with a burned out lightbulb, who, was perfectly happy with her ironically unlightable bulb until finding that her mother was just as content with an unlit bulb, then decides she needs something, yet has no job, or skills other than posting to facebook, which, ultimately creates the solution anyway, thus promoting the lack of self ownership so prevalent in the hipster culture (1) to watch silently, awkwardly discontented, making you wonder if it’s brain is riddled with trials & tribulations of a acid dropper or if it just doesn’t speek the language, (1) to go get the lightbulb on it’s fixed wheel bike, (1) to go get the lightbulb, scarf & body (in that order) of the dead douche that got hit by a car cause his bike has no brakes, (1) to find a pre-civil war era ladder, because hipster, (1) 70lb. hipster (average weight) to climb the ladder cradling the light bulb in a payne stewart hat, and (1) to look online to see how to actually change a lightbulb because it’s doubtful that a hipster has any mechanical knowledge whatsoever.

  12. Are you kidding? Lightbulbs are WAY too mainstream.

  13. At least two. One to change it and another to blog about how it has changed for the worse.

  14. 100,one to hold the lightbulb and 99 to turn the building around

  15. *sigh I used to tell that joke before it was cool

  16. none, because there is a light that never goes out

  17. Can’t do it; they all rush to the bulb just as it goes out, and burn their hands trying to change it before it’s cool. By the time it cools down, no one wants to change it anymore.

  18. At least three. One to change it and at least two to argue over who saw it first.

  19. One to burn his hands on it the moment it burns out, because he wants to do it before it becomes cool, one to change it in an ironic manner, one to yell “SELLOUT” and remind them of how mainstream lightbulbs are, one to blog about this on Tumblr, one more to blog about it on something way more obscure, because Tumblr is way too mainstream, and one more to reminisce how the old bulb was SO much better!

  20. None. The beard does it all.

  21. TomRatstew says:

    A) Hipsters don’t screw in a light bulb. They screw in a bed, just like everyone else.

  22. Brian H says:

    Depends on if there’s a local source for lightbulbs…

Speak Your Mind


So We Know You\'re Not Spam *