Memo to the single gentlemen and samesexual curious ladies of Ye Olde Williamsburg: Erica Sackin‘s outlined the definitive steps to picking up a hipster girl over at The Awl today. These things aren’t usually published on the interent for public eyeballs to peruse without your ponying up $19.99 for the limited edition DVD (w/ laser lighter special gift if you order now!). We suggest you go give it a read and get back to us if she, a now self-admitted hipster girl, has left off any glaring ommissons!
I’m not sure why you’d actually want to know how to pick up a young hipster woman. We’re all too-skinny obnoxious know-it-alls who sneer at you for listening to last year’s Billboard Charts topper (unless it’s Lady Gaga, of course). Maybe you like the masochism, I don’t know. Maybe you have a tattoo fetish. Maybe going to rock shows and eating all-organic locally sourced beef and/or vegan meals found in dumpsters is cheaper than that new Ferrari you’d otherwise get in your quarter or mid-life crisis. Maybe you’ve been reading the collected works of Mystery the Pickup Artist and want to expand your repertoire (in which case, stop; there’s a strong chance you shouldn’t be dating any girls, anywhere, ever). Maybe you’re a slightly nerdy boy in a low-fi surf rock band who loves to bake his own pies but is too desperately shy to work up the nerve to talk to the gorgeous brunette with half her head shaved and a tattoo of some Joy Division lyrics on her thigh (in which case, you’re adorable, email me). Whatever your reason, it’s obvious you’re going to need some help. Because I’ve seen you doing it wrong.
Quick Cliff’s Notes for ya:
Step One: Come to us.
Step Two: Yes, just talk to us.
Step Three: Don’t be creepy.
Step Four: Bone up on pop culture.
Step Five: It’s not called flakiness, it’s called letting your plans evolve.