Summer Will Be Wetter, Hotter Than Usual

wethot

This summer is going to suck majorly, the New York Post reports. You thought winter was bad? Fuck you. You can always put on more clothes. You can only take off so much, though, and last time I checked it’s still illegal to be fully nude in this city.

Sandi Duncan, managing editor for Farmer’s Almanac (which is still a thing, apparently), told the Post that, “It looks like it’s going to be an oppressively hot and humid summer for the New York area.”

Oh, and we’re also going to get a hurricane in September. It’s shaping up to be a pretty shitty summer.

Here’s Some Actual Local Hurricane Sandy Damage

You’re probably looking out your window right now and thinking, well it sure is windy, but were all these precautions necessary? Time will tell, but it looks like the storm has already taken a casualty in Williamsburg. Here is a construction site on Union and Frost that didn’t survive the high winds, via Thought Catalog’s liveblog.

via Thought Catalog's flickr

4 Local Things To Do When It’s Really, Really Hot Out

Catskills Photography's flickr

Brace yourselves: it’s going to be 96 degrees in Brooklyn tomorrow and Thursday. The city has even put a “heat advisory” into affect until 8 p.m. Thursday night. Here are some things to do in the area to stay cool, excluding the city’s “cooling centers,” whatever those are.

1. Go to the movies.

Northside Film Festival is going on right now with screenings at Nitehawk Cinema (136 Metropolitan Ave.), IndieScreen (289 Kent Ave.), and Union Docs (322 Union Ave.).  Nitehawk, which is celebrating its anniversary this weekend, is also screening Prometheus.

2. Eat something cold.

If your whole body can’t be cold, your mouth might as well be. Check out Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory (97 Commercial St.), Momofuku Milk Bar (382 Metropolitan Ave.), or ices – not soup – from Sapienza’s Fire N Ice (359 Bedford Ave.).

3. Get in the water.

While the big return of the McCarren Park Pool doesn’t happen until next week, the lesser known Metropolitan Rec Center pool is open as usual (261 Bedford Ave).

4. Get on the water.

Purchase a $4 ticket and enjoy the nice sea breeze from the deck of the East River Ferry. Make sure to check the ferry’s website though for service alerts like this one.

Hurricane Irene to (Potentially) Destroy Williamsburg

Image c/o Brooklyn 11211

Not to be hyperbolic or anything, but…WE MIGHT DIE THIS WEEKEND. For reals.

Should [the currently Category 3] Hurricane Irene grace us with her presence, forecasts predict flooding, high winds and your typical apocalyptic havoc along East River neighborhoods. According to Brownstoner and Here’s Williamsburg, those on the Williamsburg Waterfront – a Zone A category – will be at the highest risk of flooding and “extensive” damage. Those of us more inland fall into Zone B, where we need only fear “moderate” damage potential and “winds possibly reaching velocities of up to 110 MPH”. Also note that The Department of Buildings has issued an advisory stating that all construction sites must be secured or face violations and Work Stop Orders.

To determine your degree of devastation, simply type in your address into the Hurricane Evacuation Zone Finder set up by the New York City Office of Emergency Management (OEM).

Then start packing those emergency kits, kids! Supplies should include: a gallon of drinking water per person per day, nonperishable foods, a can opener, a first-aid kit, a flashlight, a battery-operation radio and extra batteries, a whistle, iodine tablets, personal hygiene items, a phone that does not rely on electricity, and child care supplies. For more helpful preparation/survival tips, check out the Ready New York guide.

Good luck!