Where, how often, and with whom are people doing ‘it’ in Bushwick

Infographic by Jacque Medina at Bushwick Daily

Infographic by Jacque Medina/Bushwick Daily

Bushwick Daily has provided a very helpful public service by polling their readers about, what else, SEX! (It is Valentine’s Day after all.)

Turns out 27% of those polled have hooked up in a bar or restaurant bathroom. One person even fessed up to fucking on top of a smashed avocado at Hana Food. Here are a few choice quotes from the article:

“I have slept with a lot of Manhattan men, but Bushwick men have better beards anyway, and what a girl wouldn’t want that extra fluff around her vagina.”

“I’ve hooked up with at least 4 bartenders from the same bar. Hard to remember how many exactly…” [Read more…]

85.8% of Greenpointers doing it bareback

dumb

Because, duh, doing it with a condom totally ruins the sensation.

When you’re out at the bar, or at the club, or at the dance party trying to get your goose fed, do you keep in mind that you should wrap that shit up? Be honest, this is a safe space. Also, we know you’re lying if you said that of course you do, because the Department of Health’s Community Health Survey for 2012 just released some numbers, and 68.2% of the whole city said they didn’t use a condom when they last had sex. The leader of the pack? Greenpoint, where a staggering 85.8% of people decide to throw caution to the wind.

Now, we suppose we could cut some slack here, and account for married people and people in committed relationships who have a different form of birth control. But still, 85% Greenpoint? And you don’t want people to think that your neighborhood is basically just a real-life version Girls? You weren’t all just waiting for the free magnum-sized condoms, were you? Don’t forget, science claims it feels just as good to have sex with a condom. What are you, better than science?

Come on people, PUT A FUCKING CONDOM ON.

Good Vibrations Truck Tour Titillates Williamsburg Tonight

image c/o Trojan Facebook page

Sidling up all sexy and shit to the waterfront food trucks tonight will be Trojan’s Good Vibrations Truck.

The tour which kicked off with a Midtown “nooner” yesterday is a new campaign to dispense sexual health do-gooding and promote the new Trojan Vibrating Twister – Trojan’s most powerful vibrator to date! Holla!

Sexual health expert Dr. Logan Levkoff and brand spokespeople will display the new product, talk about the mainstreaming of vibrators and share interesting data on usage and purchase in the US.  In addition, there will be free samples (condoms) and giveaways (sex instruments).

[Now insert a really good orgasm joke that was already taken by the other blogs. Blerg.]

The Good Vibrations Truck hits the Williamsburg Waterfront from 8pm to 10pm tonight, July 29.  And, well, face it – you might as well have a back-up plan when you fail at that last call scramble at Union Pool.

All the Men in Williamsburg & Greenpoint Are Virgins

Can somebody please make some sense of this list that supposedly reveals the kinkiest and loneliest places in the U.S., based on dating site profiles, because I certainly cannot. For starters, Greenpoint and Williamsburg–yes, the nabe with a plethora of hormonally-charged watering holes–has the most virgin men in the country. Really? The only explanation here somebody offered was the Hasidic anomaly, but then why wouldn’t some Amish district, or a small, off-the-grid county in conservative Utah, perhaps rank higher? Color me presumptuous but I imagine their coital rates are comparable. Here’s a sampling:

  • Most virgin women: Louisiana 2nd (New Orleans)
  • Most virgin men: New York 12th (Williamsburg, Greenpoint, Park Slope in Brooklyn; Maspeth, Ridgewood, in Queens; Lower East Side in Manhattan)
  • Least virgin women: Texas 29th (Houston)
  • Least virgin men: Louisiana 2nd (New Orleans)

Also: New Orleans has the most virgin women, yet also claims the least virgin men?! Per another, perhaps those men are all sleeping with the small group of promiscuous women. Or each other. I’m so confused. Please, Internet, help me. Comment below or tweet your explanatory rage to me. One thing to note: this is all based on word cloud analysis on dating sites…so perhaps everyone in Williamsburg mentions their desire for virgins. In which case, God bless you in your honesty.

(I’d click through to the artist’s site for some clarity, but it’s on Columbia.edu’s servers and they are slow/down at the moment.)

The Breakfast Club XXX

If a Perv Rubs One Out in the Shrubs and No One is Around to See it…

According to the NY Post, a Federal judge ruled last week that masturbating in a federal park is fine, as long as no one’s watching:

“Magistrate Judge Ramon Reyes Jr. found that an ex-cop who exposed himself to an undercover ranger in a remote section of a federal park off the Belt Parkway was not guilty of public lewdness because his naughty bits were obscured by waist-high vegetation.

The defendant in the case, retired Detective Joseph Tesoriere, was arrested last August after he allegedly beckoned an undercover Parks Service ranger into a remote area at Plum Beach — a tiny sliver of Gateway National Park known for horseshoe crabs and gay hookups — and fondled himself.”

While this ruling won’t affect Williamsburg residents directly in the neighborhood — there are no national parks here — it should certainly make you think twice the next time you find yourself surrounded by waist-high vegetation.

American Apparel Has a "New Standard" of Fashion and Shady Photography-Based Hiring Practices

Gawker’s Hamilton Nolan has been looking into the hiring practices of American Apparel these last couple days that find, of course, they discriminate worse than your high school’s cheerleading squad. Every new employee prospect is photographed from top down and sent up the chain of command.

Also, from a leaked document sent to Gawker, let’s get to know American Apparel’s “New Standard” of fashion.

The “New Standard” is described in a company document as “Classy-Vintage-Chique-Late 80’s-Early 90’s-Ralph Lauren-Vogue-Nautical-High end brand.” What the hell is that? Well I’ll tell you for shoes it most certainly isn’t Uggs, winter boots, flip-flops, gladiators, converses, vans, keds, moccasins, or fucking Dock Martins. It is vintage shoes, heels, booties, boat shoes, sperry’s, and white Keds, “as long as they’re impeccably clean.” Keep your dirty-ass Keds off of AA’s property!

Anybody work at the AA on North 6th? We’ve heard some shady things over there from years past, would love to update our mental catalogue.

We Made Everyone's Morning in Mccarren Park: The Full Story

FW_SEXINTHEPARK.jpg

A little over a week ago somebody posted a curious missed encounter on Craigslist, detailing a night making McCarren Park their bedroom. “Who got laid in McCarren Park?,” we asked.

Monique, a 21-year old resident of the neighborhood, writes of that fateful sexxxy Tuesday night with an answer: it was her.

She writes:

Um well, It was totally random but so beautiful. We met just walking down the street, and we just knew something was going to happen. I was pretty intoxicated haha, as was he. But everything happened so naturally. We wanted to lay down for a bit in the park, it was around 4am. We were kissing, touching, and before you know it one thing led to another. We were so locked in passion, that we didn’t realize the sun coming up. Or the joggers. Or bike riders. Or stragglers and lovers like ourselves who were enjoying the remnants of an epic Tuesday night. We parted ways after that, I didn’t want his number, and didn’t give him mine. The night was too perfect and simple to mar with sober akwardness. If we are meant to cross paths again, bless it be. My name is Monique, Im a 21 year old female living in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. A native actually. I write as well, and have a lot more stories than that, although it is my best to date. More sweet, and intense.

Emphasis added. The lesson here of course is that strangers can still, in this day and age, meet randomly on the street at 4am on a Tuesday and just go have sex in a public park.