Holy F*ck playing two NYC shows this week

HolyFuck

Canadian quartet Holy Fuck are in town this week for two shows: on Tuesday the 19th they will be at Music Hall of Williamsburg (tickets), while Bowery Ballroom plays host on Wednesday the 20th (tickets). Apart from a few gigs here and there, including the last time I saw them, a surprise set as Holy Fun at Death By Audio three years ago (featured image), the band took their time with other projects until releasing fourth album, Congrats, in May, their first album in six years.  You can hear a couple of tunes after the jump.

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Holy Fuck – 'Red Lights'

A little Friday morning stupidity to get you in the mood for the weekend!

NYPD Can Now Remove All Bikes Locked to Signposts

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photo by Martha Cooper c/o Gothamist
Okay, so looks like the NYPD didn’t sell your bike on ebay or give ’em away to kids. Gothamist has word that bike owners can pick them up between the wonderfully convenient hours of 4am and 12pm at the 7th Precinct. But don’t think you can just walk in and claim that Huffy!

We were told that bike owners can appear as early as 4 a.m., and that there is “a special way” of determining that each bike is returned to its lawful owner. Cyclists will be asked to describe their bikes, but the cop who spoke with us said you should also bring a photo of you with the bike.

But here’s the best part. When asked if there were any signs that told cyclists not to lock their bikes up on the President’s route yesterday, a cop responded defensively, saying, “You’re not supposed to lock you bike to signposts anyway, they have those new bike racks you’re supposed to use.”
Fantastic news! That sounds like the NYPD considers itself authorized to steal any bicycle not locked to a city-sanctioned bike rack and bury it fifteen deep on the back of a truck.
Think that rule applies to bikes loaded up on fences at the Waterfront shows? Let’s hope not!

"The Worst Hair in Williamsburg?"

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Via Gawker:

Several people report seeing this man around Williamsburg. He wears, says one tipster “a pair of child’s pleather shorts as a headpiece to contain a giant jewfro to give the effect of twin chimneys.” They call him chimneyhead.

Apparently, some of you folks out there have made out with him. Gross.

Quote of the Week: Lentol & His Third Arm

Assemblyman Joe Lentol, friend of the internet, is going to swim the length of Netwown Creek as a last-ditched mating attempt at getting us some of that Google fiber optic broadband love. So how’s he feel about his pending trip down a seriously polluted waterway?

“Even if I grow a third arm I bet I still wont be faster on the computer than google’s broadband and it will be worth it for all the good this project could bring for the businesses, families, artists, freelancers, students and everyone in between in my district.”

About Those Spammers

They are nimble little bastards, aren’t they? Just wanted to let you all kno, we’re working on a solution to combat these hustlers trying to sell us Air Jordans. In the meantime, keep your heads above water and try and ignore the spam.

Cristal, Tube Tops, & Red Carpets Arrive in Williamsburg

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Get out your hair gel, tube tops, and dolla billz. According to Gothamist last night giant spotlights were ‚”rented to herald the arrival of a new lounge called Alma on Roebling and South 3rd.” If you’re curious about what Alma has to offer there are velvet ropes,red carpets, the ability to book VIP birthdays, and most importantly VALET PARKING for all those driving in from Long Island and New Jersey. Their website details the grand opening on ‚”Thrusday” (their misspelling, not ours) where patrons were invited to dress to impress and was invitation only. We can hardly wait for Hookah Fridays and Classic Saturdays. Alma, what the hell were you thinking?
[photo via Alma Facebook Page]

Bodega Selling Obama Incense

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It smells like hope at one bodega on S. 2nd and Havemeyer.
To shamelessly quote myself: “There they are, sandwiched as usual between ‚”Egyptian Musk” and ‚”White Diamond.” Obama Incense sticks, FTW.”
Somebody please go grab a few and tell me what it smells like to be President!