The 4 Basic Aspects Of Being A ‘Bro’


Do you have to know who Ryan Lochte is to be a bro? If so we fail:


Bros can be schlubby or scrawny, to be sure. But physical prowess, particularly in sports, seems to be a major part of the construction and performance of bro-ishness. Does the putative bro play a team sport? (And is that sport lacrosse?) Is the party thought of as his team’s inspirational leader? Does the party somehow manage to juggle a sporting life and his salubrious appetite for alcohol? That bro ranks high on our jockishness index. Fist bump!


Dudeliness is one’s propensity to do bro things with other bros. You talk with your bros about bro things, and you conspire to do bro things with your bros. Dudeliness is a measure of homosociality, a fancy gender studies term for what folks often call bromances — very close, platonic friendships between people of the same sex. A particularly dudely bro is someone you usually think of as an intrinsic part of a larger pack of bros. (Would that be a murder of bros?) [Read more…]

What Phish Sounds Like To Normal People

Ha ha ha. We love this:

‘What’s the vibe like?’ Prank calling Williamsburg bars


I just discovered the wonderful tumblr What’s the vibe like? that prank calls Williamsburg bars. The mysterious prank caller has bothered 13 bars so far including Bushwick Country Club, Wythe Hotel, Roberta’s Pizza and Barcade. He asks Roberta’s how long of a wait for 10 fifteen year old boys, if there’s any ladies playing Tapper at Barcade, and what the dress code is at Bushwick Country Club. Listen to a few of the calls below:


[Read more…]

Is The G Train Cock-Blocking You?

Everyone knows the G Train sucks. But is it keeping people from getting together? The above video by Brooklyn Date is hilarious and, well, pretty spot-on. From DNA:

“I’d never like to ride the G train.”

Walsh and some other Brooklynites say the G train’s slow and unpredictable service has sabotaged relationships — and some have even sworn off G-train dating altogether.

“I had to make a rule that was, literally, if you live off the G you’re not for me,” said Bedford-Stuyvesant resident Mutale Nkonde, 26, who lives off the A and C trains, and said getting anywhere off the G involved a nightmarish array of transfers and usually getting lost. “To get to the G is such a monumental hike, it’s two buses plus a long walk.”

“The thing about the G is it comes middle of platform so if you’re dressed in high heels you have to run what feels like 7 miles to catch the train,” she said of the line’s short length. “When you get there [to the Myrtle-Willoughby station] it looks ‘Law and Order’-ish.

“It looks like a crime scene.”

A representative for the MTA declined to comment for the story.

The strong sentiment of straphangers like Nkonde has even prompted a local comedian to make a video about a young man’s horror when he learns his date lives off the G train.

The Brooklyn Date,” which Tyler Fischer created after “hearing people talk badly about the G train all the time,” follows a couple on their first magical date — which comes crashing to a halt when the woman asks the man back to her apartment.

“I did date somebody who lived off the G and I was worried, but I have a car so I always just drove there,” Fischer said. “I’ve just been afraid of [the train].”
As for Clinton Hill resident Alexis Saba, she and her boyfriend do rely on the subway since he lives in Greenpoint, she said — but the G has prevented them from having “casual get-togethers.”

Does the internet have even one good Brooklyn brunch parody left?

I’m all for a good brunch joke, but the current originality of Brooklyn/hipster/brunch humor is beating a dead horse while wearing an American Apparel onesie. Today’s example is a song by Cooking Channel’s ‘Chef-Comedienne’ Nadia G. She takes an awful melody and fills in the blanks Mad Libs style with “Ray-Bans”, ‘L-Train”, “Instagram”, “Irony”, “Loft” and for some reason “Crumpets.” Thanks or no thanks to Max Silvestri for sharing the link to this. Watch [Read more…]

Jimmy Kimmel At Coachella: ‘Hipster’ Kids Bullshit About Loving Made Up Bands

Get the Fuck Out of My Pool!

A Hipster Thanksgiving

Christmas Polka

Since it’s too warm out to be in the mood for Christmas (what’s up with this weather?) this will help you get in the spirit:

(Thanks McFlurry)