With the first concerts at the Williamsburg Waterfront, Crestfest, and the fine vintage fashions of the Buffalo Exchange secreting just the right scent, hormones in Williamsburg reached a boiling point this past weekend. Here’s a quick recap of your missed connections, which range from a guy who checked out your pantyhose, an encounter at a port-o-potty, and some unprotected sex.
You Were Dancing On The Fire Escape Above S & B Restaurant on Bedford (WFM) – link
First off, this happened a few weekends ago, but poster wants to give it a try anyway. You: A dude, doing some dumb hippie ass bullshit like dancing on a fire escape. You yelled “Call me!” to …. the poster: A 21-year old girl who blew you a kiss while you were being a jackass. She wants to buy you coffee. I want to punch you in the neck.
You Giggled as I Walked By (M4W) – link
This one’s a total creeper. It’s got all the makings of a future crime: a peeper, vintage clothes, and a foot massage. You: Hit up Buffalo Exchange to get rid of some winter clothes to make space in that closet when you caught some guy staring at your pantyhose. Freaked out, you ignored…Poster: A dude, total sleazeball who quietly offered you a foot massage after staring at your legs. He’s shy, so move on unless you’re into ackward boners and guys who’ll creep out your friends.
Fun Buffalo Exchange Employee (M4W) – link
Here’s a cuter missed connection. You: An employee of Buffalo Exchange who was working Sunday afternoon. You asked about a guy’s silly t-shirt, and are adorable and seemingly fun. Poster: A dude, who unfortunately has a girlfriend. He does think you are fun and still thinks you guys should hang. He’s like, 25.
Port o Potty Gal (M4W)- link
This is pretty much perfect. Guy sees girl emerge from Port-o-Potty at the Waterfront during Band of Horses’ set. You, the girl, “aghast” at water dispenser being empty, high-fives guy who rinses your hands with beer. You two are meant to be. Here’s his dream scenario after you send him the email: “Dinner, at my place…the scent of exotic spices dances within your daintily shaped nostrils, while you enjoy a handmade cocktail of your choosing. We get caught up in the moment and alas! The food is burned! No matter, we walk to the corner market and pick up some beef jerky and a quart of coffee ice cream. After dinner, we roll a joint and have 3 hours of physical, energetic, reciprocal unprotected sex (i am clean and you would be on the pill, but not that scary one where you only get a period once every like 10 years).”
Boy with wildthings sleeve at crestfest (WFM) – link
You, a guy, were wearing a “Where the Wild Things Are” t-shirt at Crestfest when some girl told you it was awesome. She now would like to rip it off.
John, you cared for me outside Bembe (WFM) – link
Dude, class act. You: John, you’re from California and your parents make skateboards. Poster: She was sick outside Bembe, but you helped her get through it. She just wants to say thanks.
*Update: An earlier version of this post referred to all of this as “Casual Encounters” instead of “Missed Connections.” Whoops!
Now that the “Breaking Bad” season finale has come and gone, this may have to be my replacement show. [via]
A resident threw a party on the roof of 132 North 5th Street, leaving beer cans and some garbage throughout the public space. Another resident, fuming out the nostrils as he or she bent over the xerox machine, printed out enough flyers to cover all floors of the bulding calling the original partier (OP) an asshole. OP responded by scribbling on the flyer, “I only had a few people over + cleaned up most of it. Poster writer = king douche.”
Check it out: