Gallery owner chases PBR-sipping art thief through the streets of Williamsburg to recover portrait of Snoop Lion

credit: Cotton Candy Machine

credit: Cotton Candy Machine

On Sunday night, a quartet of PBR-sipping bandits absconded with large paintings of Jean-Michel Basquiat, Nelson Mandela, and Snoop Lion from Williamsburg art gallery Cotton Candy Machine. The thieves’ plan was simple: walk into a packed art gallery, slam a few brewskis, yank some paintings off the walls, and run. And they would have gotten away with it too, if not for gallery owner Sean Leonard, who gave pursuit. Leonard eventually caught one of the four robbers and recovered one of the three stolen paintings. Cotton Candy Machine chronicles the chase:

This was after my long chase with Louis Lassalle, who is now under arrest and facing grand Larceny and criminal possession of stolen property. I found him blocks away from #cottoncandymachine with this Basquiat portrait by @amarstewart, stashed between a fence and a railing. I confronted him and dialed 911. He immediately started threatening me and telling me to leave. He called someone and told them I hand found him. He kept threatening me and trying to scare me off. It made me laugh even though this guy could have killed me. I just knew he couldn’t catch me and the was no way I was going to just leave. He tried to run and jumped in a cab, so I rushed to the passenger side door and opened it to yell at the driver. [Read more…]

Hipster bros getting beard transplants

hipster-beard

And we thought beards were out. From DNA:

Dr. Yael Halaas, another plastic surgeon who specializes in facial hair transplants, said an increasing number of “hip” and “fashionable” young professionals in their 20s and 30s are seeking the procedure.

“I get a lot of detail-oriented people — artists, architects,” the doctor said, noting that beard-centric neighborhoods such as Williamsburg, Bushwick and Park Slope have each delivered four to five clients to her practice in the past year… [Read more…]

85.8% of Greenpointers doing it bareback

dumb

Because, duh, doing it with a condom totally ruins the sensation.

When you’re out at the bar, or at the club, or at the dance party trying to get your goose fed, do you keep in mind that you should wrap that shit up? Be honest, this is a safe space. Also, we know you’re lying if you said that of course you do, because the Department of Health’s Community Health Survey for 2012 just released some numbers, and 68.2% of the whole city said they didn’t use a condom when they last had sex. The leader of the pack? Greenpoint, where a staggering 85.8% of people decide to throw caution to the wind.

Now, we suppose we could cut some slack here, and account for married people and people in committed relationships who have a different form of birth control. But still, 85% Greenpoint? And you don’t want people to think that your neighborhood is basically just a real-life version Girls? You weren’t all just waiting for the free magnum-sized condoms, were you? Don’t forget, science claims it feels just as good to have sex with a condom. What are you, better than science?

Come on people, PUT A FUCKING CONDOM ON.

Watch: Action Bronson got in an onstage fight with security for lighting a joint

Here’s another: [Read more…]

About that Bob Dylan commercial….

dylan

Sure it was dumb. But do you remember this one from 2004? Yep, he ‘sold out’ long ago.

In case you missed last nights, here it is: [Read more…]

Pampered Bushwick hipster gentrifiers wage war on more pampered Bushwick hipster gentrifiers

Rooftop playground at CastleBraid apartments. Photo: Paul Martinka

Rooftop playground at CastleBraid apartments. Photo: Paul Martinka

Seems a group of Bushwick hipsters is angry that they’re getting pushed out by another group of elite hipsters with larger trustfunds. Oh the horror:

The hipsters who settled the Brooklyn neighborhood 10 years ago have declared war on rich kids flocking to new luxury digs on their parents’ dime.

CastleBraid, an upscale rental complex marketed for artists, was adorned last month with crime-scene tape reading “Occupy.”

The “perps’’ were first-generation hipsters calling themselves “Occupy Bushwick.” They say they are “in solidarity” with the Occupy Wall Street movement.

CastleBraid is stacked with amenities designed to appeal to the aspiring hipsters.

“It’s like Neverland over there,” fumed Angelina Dreem, 27, a yoga teacher who’s lived in Bushwick for four years and owns Body Actualized yoga studio across the street from the complex.
“It’s an adult children playground,” Dreem said. “They’re all, like, subsidized.” [Read more…]

Breaking News: The Times discovers that Williamsburg has a “gritty” south side

northside

We’re not quite sure how the divide between north and south Williamsburg is news. When we started this site, the Bedford avenue stop was called “The Northside.” (See the image from our premiere Geocities issue above.)

In fact, our friends at the L Magazine, even have a annual festival called The Northside Festival. The only thing that has changed about the “Mason-Dixon line” divide of Williamsburg, is the extent of the gentrification, which is slightly greater on the north side. Oh well, its been a few months since the Times published an irrelevant article on Williamsburg, so it was overdue:

Grand Street is more than just the dividing line between streets that are numbered north and those numbered south. The border has become Williamsburg’s equivalent of the Mason-Dixon line, cleaving the neighborhood into two: a sleek, moneyed “North Williamsburg” and a gritty, hyper-authentic “South Williamsburg.”

In case you need a translation, “gritty” apparently means “has Latino population:” [Read more…]

Parents at The Edge condo: Williamsburg was “the Wild, Wild West” in 2011

williamsburg2011

Williamsburg 2011

Remember 2011? That gritty, dangerous era when Williamsburg didn’t have its own artisinal olive oil store? It was downright barbaric. Online group ParentsAtTheEdge remember. The condo dwellers formed their own online group to talk about such important matters and Gawker was generous enough to share some choice quotes leaked by of the group’s members:

Believe it it not, two to three years ago when many of us moved into our apartments, we were pioneers and this section of Williamsburg was still the Wild, Wild West. [Read more…]