Colony 1209: tone deaf condo in Bushwick looking for “settlers” to colonize “new frontier”

the-colony

Given all the displacement happening in New York’s most rapidly gentrifying neighborhood, you’d think developers and the PR companies would show a little more tact:

Here in bohemian Bushwick, Brooklyn, you’ll find a group of like-minded settlers, mixing the customs of their original homeland with those of one of NYC’s most historic neighborhoods to create art, community, and a new lifestyle.

Like-minded settlers? Mixing the customs of their original homeland? A colony? Gross.

The Awl is appropriately perturbed too:

According to the website of aptsandlofts.com, the brokerage firm renting units at Colony 1209, only fourteen units remain available in Colony 1209. The rest are occupied by renters settling what the luxury building’s website calls “Brooklyn’s new frontier.” That “new frontier” is “bohemian Bushwick, a vibrant industrial setting reimagined through artful eyes.” The area—where there are just as many empty lots overgrown with weeds and buildings with boarded-up windows as there are tree-lined streets, Puerto Rican flags, and yards with colorful lawn ornaments—might unnerve some potential settlers if Colony 1209′s website didn’t reassure them, “we already surveyed the territory for you.”… [Read more...]

“Professional party guy” opening Bushwick restaurant with permanent Spin the Bottle table

amancays diner

Because drunk, slobbering, college-aged PDA and scrambled eggs go hand-in-hand. And just like that Bushwick became a little bit dumber:

East Williamsburg and Bushwick locals will soon have a place to play Spin the Bottle — all day and all night.

Amancay’s Diner, a 24-hour restaurant and music venue, is set to open at 2 Knickerbocker Ave. next month with what they’re touting as “the world’s first dedicated Spin the Bottle” table, said owner Chang Han, 48.

The table, surrounded on three sides by a red leather booth, will have a bottle secured to the top, like a Lazy Susan, said Han.

“Everybody’s played Spin the Bottle at one time or another,” said Han, who recalled playing the kissing game with four college students every Monday at his closed East Village restaurant Gama.

Playing games at his businesses isn’t new for Han, who said he used to “get drunk with a lot of girls” and bowl with melons inside the grocery and deli he owned for 10 years, St. Mark’s Market.

At Gama, he wrestled with 21-year-olds in a kiddie pool full of jello. (“I was getting my ass kicked,” he said.)…

The neighborhood needed a sit-down place to eat after the bars closed — and a place for its owner to party for a while, he said…

“I’m a professional party guy,” he said with a grin.

Alternate names for what the Times calls “Quooklyn”

MyrtleAvenue

We’ve just gotten used to Jefftown. Please don’t start calling the neighborhood on the border of Bushwick Brooklyn and Ridgewood Queens “Quooklyn.”

The Awl has some alternatives that we MUCH prefer:

1. Woodbush
2. Ridgewood
3. Bushwood
4. “Well my mailing address is Queens but I feel like I live in Brooklyn.”
5. Bushridge
6. “I mean I live off the L, so.”

Read the rest at The Awl or add your own in comments.

‘Brooklyn Boys’ – someone made a ‘Brooklyn Girls’ parody

brooklyn-boys

You knew this was coming… [Read more...]

Hipster molting season is here again

hipster-molting

Inside the sober rave in Williamsburg

sober-rave

sober rave (c/o Gothamist & Mathew Gilbertson)

dumb

sober rave (c/o Gothamist & Mathew Gilbertson)

Thanks to Gothamist for doing the leg work. There’s just no way we could take sober dancing and animal masks at 6:30 AM.

A $20 ticket to Morning Gloryville gets you the following: three hugs upon entry (one from each of the Morning Gloryville crew), a plastic lei, and three and a half hours of dancing. There’s a smoothie bar, where smoothies are $6-a-pop and juices run $9, and you can purchase Brooklyn Roasting Co. coffee for around $2-$3, if you so desire. Massages are available for a “suggested donation,” and crews were leading soggy yoga classes every 5 to 10 minutes on the Zoo’s rainy roof.

The dancing, though, was Morning Gloryville’s real bread-and-butter, with DJs blaring house music that reverberated all the way down Bogart Street. The Zoo—which was packed by 7:30 a.m.—boasted a bouncy floor and trampoline, and attendees were all over it, climbing walls, doing handstands and flipping from a rope swing in the middle of the room. The Zoo’s garage doors were open, and passersby kept stopping to snap photos of the dozens of grown-ass adults in sequins doing pike jumps and tossing giant blow-up balls around the faux-graffitied wall.

Morning Gloryville advertises itself as a pre-work “sober rave,” a description that stressed me out initially—how does one survive a strobe-light dance party without intoxicants? Is it appropriate to spike a mango smoothie? Can you blog on an Ecstasy comedown? But those concerns were all for naught, because what Morning Gloryville really is, is a $20 gym class, designed to pump you with endorphins before you move into your cubicle for the day. I prefer running in circles around Maria Hernandez Park but, hey, everybody’s doing their own thing.
The next edition Morning Gloryville goes down on August 13th at 6:30 a.m.; buy your tickets online.

More pics here. You can get tickets for the next sober rave here.

There’s a Beef Jerky Mount Rushmore in Columbus Circle

mount-beefmore

We assume “Meat Rushmore” smells to high hell, but its still pretty damn cool.

Snack lovers are celebrating in Columbus Circle, where art director Alex Valhouli and Jack Link’s beef jerky company created “Meat Rushmore” — a 1,600-pound replica of Mount Rushmore covered in three different varieties of jerky.

“We put about 1,400 working hours into the project over the course of three weeks,” Valhouli told 1010 WINS.

The meaty monument is 13-feet tall and 17-feet wide.

“We hand carved it out of a foam substrate to give it the dimension we needed,” Valhouli said. “It’s absolutely epic. We’re very happy with the result.”

“Meat Rushmore” will be on display until 6 p.m. Thursday.

The Making of “Meat Rushmore”

via

Are you ready for the “Jetson Hotel” in Williamsburg?

55 Wythe now

55 Wythe Ave. now

If you think the Domino development plans are stupid, you’re going to love the plans for 55 Wythe Ave:  [Read more...]