A few weeks ago, I felt
a little under the weather hungover and absolutely craved a burrito. I usually order seamless from Taco Santana when I’m craving Mexican, but I ordered from there earlier that week and didn’t want to be recognized by the delivery man. Just a mere days previous, I was less than nice after having to walk down all three flights of stairs to obtain my torta due to his confusion over the buzzer.
To avoid any sort of confrontation or exercise in my ragged state, I decided to order from El Loco Burrito. It had four stars. A solid rating, so how bad could it be? Turns out Seamless reviews are not to be trusted blindly. After my order arrived, I took a big bite out of the “chili beef burrito.” Lettuce, cheese, tomato, tortilla. Not too disappointing, but not exactly good. Another bite. This time I taste the ground beef. Grey and bland, I can only imagine it was boiled. No flavor and not exactly helping to cure my hangover. I’m thinking to myself that it might magically get better… maybe not all of the beef is that weird grey color. I take one more bite, and I taste… peas and carrots? What? This can’t be! I am so thrown off by this strange combo I decide to dissect the burrito, and yes, there are factory shaped squares of potatoes, soggy carrots and peas that can come from no other than a can of Veg-All mixed vegetables. I REPEAT- VEG-ALL MIXED VEGETABLES! I was forced to eat the stuff as a child, but no more. There is no way I could bring myself to eat this sorry cafeteria lady excuse for a burrito any longer. I mean, how can you possibly mess up a burrito that bad to bring back flashbacks of elementary school lunch? [Read more…]