What’s with all the fart bags littered throughout McCarren Park? I first came across one of these mysterious little suckers last week and figured, well, that there’s a fart bag, there’s not much else there than just a bag for producing fart stink. But let’s irresponsibly theorize that there’s a more sinister usage for these gaseous gags. Poison? Nah. Can you smoke them? Probably not. Huffing? Yes!
You could totally huff a fart bag.
There’s even a tweet out there that somewhat supports this theory, so I’m going to roll with it. Here are the facts: People are huffing fart bags in McCarren Park. This is a problem that’s on the rise and we are just simply outraged that nobody is doing anything about it.
It’s a cheap high — you can go buy yourself a pack of six fart bags at the all-low price of $1.38 per unit, and by unit, I most certainly mean fart bag. We need to fight back.
I encourage everyone out there to step up and be a responsible citizen and SAVE OUR CHILDREN by writing to your local representatives that we need to keep our kids homes fart bag free. Are you with me?
Let’s do this for America. Let’s do this for Brooklyn.