Zach Galifianakis' Upcoming Movie Keeps Looking Stranger


Check out the official Visioneers trailer here.

Ted Kennedy & Them Dang Homosexualizers Destroyed Sanford's Marriage

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Jenny Sanford (right) and SC GOP chair Karen Floyd
This is hands down the most idiotic thing you will read all year. I swear to God I thought this was the Onion. UPDATE: we’re gullible today, thank god this is a parody and it is still pretty damn funny.

‚”Of course I’m not saying that Mark is gay,” [Jenny] Sanford said, ‚”but he may as well be. The moral decay in this country has claimed another victim and this time it was my family. Our marriage was perfect until these laws started passing around the country. Clearly the slow dissolution of the sanctity of marriage in America seeped into Mark’s psyche until he no longer felt compelled to abide by our vows.”
Social conservatives were quick to show their support for the first lady’s statement.
‚”It’s finally happened,” said Rush Limbaugh, conservative radio personality. ‚”America, I’ve been warning you for years that gay marriage would destroy the American family and look… there they are, a husband, wife, and four children — destroyed. When is this going to stop America? When will the liberals be satisfied? When all the marriages break up? This wasn’t Mark Sanford’s fault, this was Ted Kennedy’s fault. Sanford didn’t cheapen the value of marriage, he was victimized by the cheapening of marriage.”

Sad News for Berliners and Fixies

This just in. Good is reporting that the German government has banned the Fixie!!!

In Berlin, fixed-gear bicycles are now illegal. The news comes from The Local, and English-language German news site:
In a country where cyclists are expected to have a working bell on their bikes, it was probably only a matter of time before fixies fell afoul of the law in Germany. … Since there’s no freewheel on a fixie, the pedals continue to rotate as long as the bike is moving forward. This means the rider either has to slow the bike by fighting the momentum or brake by locking up the back wheel to skid to a stop.
Seeing what they considered a growing danger to traffic safety, Berlin police announced this spring they would begin cracking down on fixie riders. Since only April, they’ve confiscated 18 bicycles.
Clearly, fixies are more difficult to ride (and stop) than any conventional street bikes. I’ve heard many an accomplished cyclist explain how he or she tried a fixie once and that was enough. And plenty of city-dwellers bemoan aggressive biking (which is sometimes associated with fixie-riders). But are the bikes really so dangerous that they shouldn’t be street legal? Is this a setback for bike culture in general?

Who wants to organize a protest?

Only on Fox News

Glenn Beck and Michael Scheuer say only another terrorist attack will save America: “The only chance we have as a country right now is” for bin Laden to “detonate a major weapon.” Classy.

Interview: I Am The Heat

The Brooklyn-based fusion of 60′s garage rock bands and post-punk minimalism that is I Am The Heat will premiere their new music video for their song “Ghost Bear” this Thursday night at 10 p.m. at Monkeytown (58 N 3rd. St).
Led by director Stephen Spencer, “Ghost Bear” was filmed around Williamsburg and Bushwick with the band, their girlfriends, friends and extended social acquaintances all lending a hand and having fun. It’s got a healthy mix of snuggling females, pillow fights, fuzzy bears and a chase scene all thrown together with a Matt and Kim-esque level of intensity and color.
Here’s the trailer video (it’s live now):

I AM THE HEAT: Ghost Bear from kevin fey on Vimeo.

For more on the band, I e-sat down with Jameson and Kevin Fey to talk about shooting the video, their favorite local haunts and their favorite bands. That interview, my friends, is after the jump.
After their Thursday premiere at Monkeytown, I Am The Heat will play July 11th at Clash Bar (NJ), July 12th at Union Pool, and July 31st at Lit.

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Jens Lekman Contracted Swine Flu

The Opposite of Hallelujah indeed. From Lekman’s blog, via

I picked home one last souvenir from South America, it’s called the H1N1 virus. Wrongfully known as the Swineflue.
I was crossing the Atlantic when things started getting really bad, the fever was hallucinogenic and shaking me like a leaf and I grabbed the sleeve of the Air France steward. “I’m not feeling well, I should see a doctor” I said and the reply came as a brilliant mix of death anxiety and french rudeness: “Uh, yes… Terminal D… go there maybe… when we land”. After that the stewards and stewardesses took long detours. A ring of empty seats formed around me. Peoples eyes were kind but determined, they read “Poor you, I really wish you all the best but if you come near me or my kid I will have to stab you with this plastic fork”. I got up and went to the bathroom where I fainted.
Now I’m in quarantine for ten days. I can see the summer through my window and it’s just perfect. Summer is always best through a window.

And…Scene!

al_franken_rgb.jpgIt’s (almost) official: Al Franken is Minnesota’s newest senator, says the state’s Supreme Court. Sure, it’s possible that Norm Coleman may appeal and keep his now 238-day-old fight going. And, yeah, the Dems having 60 votes in the senate probably won’t be quite the magic cure-all some hope it will be. Still, for any of you (fine, us) hoping to reduce monthly health care bills by, I dunno, 100 percent at some point in the future, this is some damn fine news.
Here’s to you, Al. You’re good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, voters like you.

Arrested for having a pug on the L Train

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image via
From our mailbag. If you have pix or video, send them along.

Was arrested by police at L train today – ffor a 15lb pug that I took out of his tote bag for throwing up and overheating. Held for very long time – photos and video and about 12 cops involved. Pug okay,. but me, very sad,. They gave me 3 tickets – recesssion that bad?[...]
I took the day off of work, because my wrists are so swollen from the handcuffs that I’ve had trouble typing. Basically, I had my pug in a tote bag, but he overheated and threw up in the bag on the L Train btw 1st ave and Bedford. I took him out and had him in my arms – he’s a foster pug with a few health issues for curlytailpugrescue.org.
As I was walking up the stairs a transit cop grabbed my arms and pushed me up against a wall – I couldn’t produce ID (left my wallet at home) he handcuffed me. From there it went downhill fast and people were calling the police and taking photos and video.
They took my pug and he told me he was taking him to the pound where he would be “put down.” I was taken to the J stop headquarters. I wasn’t allowed to call a lawyer and I was put in a cell.
I was given 3 tickets: failure to produce ID, disorderly conduct, and failure to have dog in a containter. I have a court date in July and August.
My pug was returned. They had him behind their desks and were playing with him. [..]
I think that because so many people were yelling at the cop – it made him more angry, but he was yelling at me – “If you’re going to act like a woman I’m going to treat you like a woman.”
-name withheld by request

UPDATE: via Gothamist:

According to [Name Withheld], the arresting officer’s name is Witriol (badge number 942838). After seeing a photo, she identified him to us as Joel Witriol, who in 2006 became New York’s first Hasidic cop. [Name Withheld], 32, says Witriol would not accept her explanation that she was carrying the pug because it was sick, and she believes that the disturbed crowd that gathered to witness the arrest only made him angrier. She tells us, “He punched me in the back (there are bruises), he handcuffed me, and in the scuffle grabbed my breasts and pinched them.”
Melissa Randazzo, a speech language pathologist who lives in Williamsburg, witnessed the arrest and tells us, “something about it seemed very wrong. The cop’s tone seemed really inappropriate and he kept saying things like, ‘Are you going to act like a woman?’ She tried to walk away, and then he grabbed her and pushed her against the wall outside the turnstile.” Randazzo ran up to the street level to call 911 to, as she says, “call the cops” on Witriol, and soon some 20 officers had descended into the Bedford station. They then ordered the witnesses to disperse.

Pictures of the arrest after the jump.

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