Ms. Anonymous writes in to warn us of a “well-known douche” who’s been stalking Asian girls around town.
Hi, I’d appreciate it if you could keep me anonymous, but there’s a well-known douche named [redacted] wandering Wburg stalking Asian gals, and I’d love it if you could expose him so the innocents can avoid.
Her experience with him began late last year at Union Pool, where she was drinking with some friends when a very strange man approached. He wanted some action, maybe a number, but Ms. Anon politely declined interest. She moved outside with her friends to escape the situation, but the man followed.
She moved again, and again he followed, until eventually he was chasing her around Union Pool and almost fighting her friends who told the guy to chill out. Later, she stopped by Macri Park, where another Asian girl commiserated about her experience with “The Douche.” Girl #2 has been collecting the guy’s “ridiculously stupid [business] cards” for some time.
Ms. Anonymous took to Facebook, where she put up a post and saw 6-7 fellow Williamsburg Asians respond with similar stories. So who is this guy? The girls have pieced together an identity.
He describes himself sometimes as an astronaut, others, a wizard. He lives here in Brooklyn in an iconic artists loft, but of course, he’s from “Planet Xenon,” in space. His mackery involves walking up to Asian girls in McCarren Park, or at bars, and saying, no matter how many times he’s met them, “Hey, I’ve never met you before.”
“That’s your opening line???,” our anonymous tipster metaphorically asks, “And we’ve met three times.”
“Get this freak help,” she concludes, “so he stops chasing Asian girls down alleys yelling, ‘But I’ve never met you before!!’.”
So tell us, Asian girls of Williamsburg, have you met Xenon the Stalker Prince? Is he as strange as Ms. Anonymous makes him seen? Do let us know. Xenon, are you out there? Or have you fulfilled your Asian appetite and returned home to your space palace? Want to write in to defend your ways? If anybody has a photo of these cards, do send them on in. Together, we can fight to keep Williamsburg free of space princes who stalk and sexually devour our Asian citizens.
UPDATE 7/16 10:19am: Xenon Responds:
Greetings from Planet Xenon,
This is really messed up. I’m not a stalker or a creep, and calling me a douche is a matter of opinion. I will admit that sometimes people don’t “get me” and think I’m strange. But maybe they are too caught up in their own isolation bubble of uber urban coolness to make a new friend or think outside of the box. I just like talking/ meeting people in general, not just asian girls. I try to meet and talk too as many people as i can everyday… bums, mta workers, cabbies, and people of every race and background. That’s why I’m in New York, to experience life and meet interesting people and trade stories etc. When you are outgoing and put yourself out there like I do, there are always going to be a few people that don’t like you for whatever reason. I’ve only said that planet xenon thing a couple of times as a joke. And the girl that said I followed her into another room failed to mention that was where the bar was, and I went there to buy myself a drink. I even offered to buy her a drink to make up for not remembering her. I was just trying to be a nice guy! I’m always polite to the people I meet and if someone says they are in a conversation or not interested I simply walk away. The article is totally misleading and skewed. Now you have people calling me a stalker, creeper, molester, and all of this other stuff. I am really upset that you portrayed me in such a light. It’s complete hipster, bullshit, journalism! I thought being awkward and misunderstood was a badge of honor in williamsburg with all of the weird hair styles, fashions, and black framed nerd glasses that are so ever apparent. It’s really sad how people jump on the band wagon to anonymously say horrible things about someone or someone’s work online. Unfortunately, most people don’t go out of their way to be kind.
Signed,
Friendly Misunderstood Alien
As of this Friday morning, we’ve turned off comments. Sorry guys, but everyone was tryin’ to name names and it’s best we keep Xenon anonymous! I must say though, a lot of you came out of the woodwork to say you’ve met the prince too.
OMG, same thing happened to me. it’s the business card with the laser rays and stuff right? he’s an ‘artist.’ he claims he has his own show that he produces. his name is [name redacted].
he is literally a nutjob. he has endless questions, and can’t stop talking. he tries to butter you up by speaking korean. i literally think he has a crack in his brain that won’t stop gushing senseless words. maybe he lost his head on a bad acid trip. such a weirdo.
If Xenon the Stalker’s white, color me surprised.
can we make it a FW mission to connect him with the Hipster Grifter? they deserve each other. and they frequent the same [worst]bars….
This fucking creep will not leave me alone. I’ve actually stopped patronizing Union Pool because every time I go there he shows up and introduces himself and tells me the same story even though he has pulled this routine with me numerous times. He goes far beyond yellow fever- he is seriously deranged.
i’m almost positive i’ve come across this dude when he was hitting on my azn friend at union pool. she gave him a fake name but he continued to call her by her real name because he had hit on her last summer and remembered her. what a creepster.
His name is [redacted]. I know because I have gotten about 8 or 9 of his cards. Here is his website. HE IS SO MUCH WORSE AND MROE AWKWARD THAN HIS VIDEOS IN REAL LIFE. The website must be seen to be believed. Get mental help, seriously, you need it! wow. [website redacted]
this is funny because my friend actually thought about writing up something about the guy, but here it is anyways! i managed to avoid him all winter, but have been unfortunate enough to run into a few times this summer. although a bit fatter than last year, still the same creepster with an irritating way of talking.
maybe this article will help him get the point?
Okay yeah, so he’s really annoying and persistent. Polite declining slash attempts at ignoring will not make him stop talking to you. I’m amazed he hasn’t been punched in the face yet. I, personally, just don’t want to ruin my delicate Asian hands.
He’s creepy, but oddly, harmless. Unlike true douchebags, if you give him a cigarette and tell him to walk way, he actually listens. He is a total cockblock though, for he will interrupt and try to ask you questions while you’re trying to hit on some dirty hipster boy at Union Pool.
His business card is hilarious. My roommate and I still have it on our fridge door from over a year ago.
Oh, c’mon. I think you can reveal the website of the alleged molester.
oh snap. HIPSTER FOLDABLE TIME!
I should be this guy’s wingman. My Korean is awesomely good.
I have no idea what to google!
Why won’t you post his name? You know that the Communications Decency Act shields you from legal liability for peoples online comments right?
this man is real beyond words- ineffable.
I love Williamsburg.
his name is [redacted]. all my asian friends know of this crazy. one time i was at U.P. with several friends and he hit on every single asian girl one after another (after being rejected everytime)
lol I think he makes Union Pool special!
I know who this dude is…his initials are [ed: redacted!]
yeah…I said it! [ed: sorry!]
what is worng with being weird and different. stand up to urself and say ur not interested. his harmless and wonderfully weird person. no need to write this lame thing to hurt someone. when u can’t even stand up for urself or post who u r than what right do u have to post someone about a harmless person who might have thought that many asain woman are beautiful.this is mean and lame.
[name redacted] totally lost it on one of my Asian roommates. He tried to woo her and it wasn’t going well. So one night he got wasted and upset, freaked out and punched himself in the face until he got a black eye. Dude’s totally nuts.
Greetings from Planet Xenon,
This is really messed up. I’m not a stalker or a creep, and calling me a douche is a matter of opinion. I will admit that sometimes people don’t “get me” and think I’m strange. But maybe they are too caught up in their own isolation bubble of uber urban coolness to make a new friend or think outside of the box. I just like talking/ meeting people in general, not just asian girls. I try to meet and talk too as many people as i can everyday… bums, mta workers, cabbies, and people of every race and background. That’s why I’m in New York, to experience life and meet interesting people and trade stories etc. When you are outgoing and put yourself out there like I do, there are always going to be a few people that don’t like you for whatever reason. I’ve only said that planet xenon thing a couple of times as a joke. And the girl that said I followed her into another room failed to mention that was where the bar was, and I went there to buy myself a drink. I even offered to buy her a drink to make up for not remembering her. I was just trying to be a nice guy! I’m always polite to the people I meet and if someone says they are in a conversation or not interested I simply walk away. The article is totally misleading and skewed. Now you have people calling me a stalker, creeper, molester, and all of this other stuff. I am really upset that you portrayed me in such a light. It’s complete hipster, bullshit, journalism! I thought being awkward and misunderstood was a badge of honor in williamsburg with all of the weird hair styles, fashions, and black framed nerd glasses that are so ever apparent. It’s really sad how people jump on the band wagon to anonymously say horrible things about someone or someone’s work online. Unfortunately, most people don’t go out of their way to be kind.
Signed,
Friendly Misunderstood Alien