How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool.
7:05: Walked up to the doors of Baby’s All Right. There is a ridiculously long line extending all the way to the corner of the street. As I walk up to “the skip list” I notice Thurston Moore is behind me with a couple friends. Why is Thurston Moore here? Of course Thurston Moore is here.
7:07: Inside the venue is packed out. Unsurprisingly the advertised free pizza is gone at this point. People keep looking through the empty pizza boxes that are stacked up by the DJ booth.
7:08: The band walks through the crowd in sunglasses to head backstage, Macauley is smiling (how dare he).
7:23: We make our way into the main area in front of the stage. You can barely move but everyone in the crowd is pretty laid back.
7:30: People are smoking weed. Probably the perfect pairing to stoner jams and pizza.
7:31: There’s a few people here wearing Andy Warhol wigs.
7:42: The band walks on stage. The lead singer says “Get ready for the best 8 minutes of music you have ever experienced.” Everyone laughs. The Pizza Underground are dressed in black and wearing sunglasses. Macauley is wearing a tank top.
7:46: The band is playing through their medley of Velvet Underground songs. They enunciate the lyrics with a comedic timing that is really getting the crowd laughing. There is even someone singing behind me who knows all the words.
7:48: Pizza boxes are being thrown throughout the crowd. They hurt.
7:50: The band closes the show with ‘Take a Bite of the Wild Slice.’ Macauley ends the song with a kazoo solo and the crowd goes wild.
7:51: The crowd chants ‘ONE MORE SLICE’, but the show is over.
7:55: Leave the venue. There is still a line of people outside trying to get in.
There it was. Macauley Culkin playing a kazoo with his pizza themed Velvet Underground cover band while wearing a tank top. I experienced the most Williamsburg moment of all time. Thankfully no one on stage or in the crowd seemed to take themselves too seriously and good times were had by all.
Maybe one day Devon Sawa and his friends will create a baked goods cover band called The Talking Breads and we can do this all over again.