How to translate Williamsburg apartment headlines on Craigslist

apartmentsI just went through the form of self-flagellation known as finding a new apartment in Williamsburg. Here I matched up the Craigslist headlines for Williamsburg apartments with what they actually meant after I clicked on them and/or visited in person.

PRIME WILLIAMSBURG – Far South Williamsburg

EAST WILLAMSBURG – Deep Bushwick or Queens.

DRENCHED IN SUNLIGHT – There is a window in the apartment.

STEPS TO MCCARREN PARK – Only 6 blocks and one major expressway standing in your way!

CUTE and COZY 1 BEDROOM – Good luck fitting a bed inside this place.

CHARMING APPLIANCES – The stove has knobs that do not work.

POOLSIDE – Apartment is somewhat near the loud McCarren Park Pool.

WHERE YOU WANT TO BE – Somewhere off the Jefferson Stop.


WOW EXTRAORDINARY DUPLEX– Bedroom is in a basement

STUNNING APARTMENT – Toilet is working

WILL NOT LAST – Awful place that will most definitely last or why would you need to write that.

STEAL OF A DEAL – Incredibly overpriced.

THE FINEST INTERIOR – Appeared to have been painted.

GREAT LOCATION – Anywhere besides actually in Williamsburg.

SLEEK APARTMENT – One of the rooms was painted white.

AMAZING DESIGN – The living room area is angled in a strange way where you cannot have a TV and couch setup.

‘WHILLIMSBURG’ – Was technically located in Williamsburg.

STUNNING BATHROOM – There is a sink that works.

STEPS TO LORIMER TRAIN – 8 blocks from the Lorimer G train.

Have any to share? Let us know.

Josh Morrissey is on Twitter.


  1. trite old story yawn city – I think the dinasours were laughing the last time this was posted

  2. TonyTheTiger says:

    RECENTLY RENOVATED – last renovated in the 90’s and painted within a year or 2

    BEAUTIFUL HARDWOOD FLOORS – scratched and peeling laminate

    ROOF ACCESS – has a rickety rusted through ladder

    PERFECT SHARE – tiny 2 bedroom railroad with no window in the middle room

    CITY VIEWS – if you dare climb up the rusted ladder you can see part of the Empire State Building but only during the winter when there are no leaves

    LOTS OF CLOSET SPACE – it has a closet

    UP AND COMING NEIGHBORHOOD – it might be safe to walk alone at night within the next decade…maybe

    REAL 1 BEDROOM – a studio that they built a wall in, now has no windows in the kitchen and no living room

    WILLIAMSBURG – Montrose thru Dekalb

    EAST WILLIAMSBURG – Myrtle Wycoff thru Broadway Junction

    BUSHWICK – Bedstuy or Ridgewood

  3. Pickle says:

    I’m pretty sure the areas being falsely labeled Williamsburg are going to continue to expand till they take up most of the tri-state area. Long Island will be Far East Williamsburg, Prime Williamsburg will be Jersey and Far Rockaway will be Williamsburg-on-the-Water.

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