Greenpoint about to add “rotten egg” to its potpourri of joyous fragrances

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And here we were enjoying its already-enticing blend of shit and oil spill. It’s about to get even better:

Between the problem child G train and the collapsed East River Ferry ramp, getting to Greenpoint has lately become an even more cumbersome chore than it was when all systems were go, if there ever was such a time. The good news, though, is that starting this week, you won’t even want to be in the neighborhood, because this is the week the city has finally decided to begin dredging.

According to the DEP, the dredging is being done in order to clear a path to a new sludge storage dock at Whale Creek, the old one near the East River having been slated for demolition to make way for affordable housing. The work will be done in 12-hour shifts from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m., and then increase to 24-hours each day. This will go on for around six weeks.

City press releases have a long and illustrious history of couching the truth in flowery euphemism and aggressive optimism, leaving reporters to sift through the muck and unearth the actual impact of the announcement. Luckily for us, the DEP has doffed any such anesthetic.

“During the dredging operations, hydrogen sulfide gas trapped in the sediment may be released. This gas has a strong odor of rotten eggs. DEP will monitor for odor and take preventive measures to control the releases,” reads the press release. Think of the DEP as the dentist looming over you, a battery of implements already stuffed in your mouth. “Oh yeah, this is definitely going to hurt,” he says as the drill whirs to life.

Comments

  1. jjinbroklyn says:

    Um…d..d..d..d..don’t worry Europeans, and yuppies fleeing the city….it’s only temporary, and it won’t smell in your new condo!
    Signed,
    ——Your trustworthy friends at Apts & Lofts, Toll Brothers, Corcoran, etc……

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