Did you hear? The Brooklyn Paper and L Magazine are reporting that Brooklyn’s beaches are full of raw sewage. That’s right, as you can see below, the National Resources Defense Council is reporting that between 4% and 9% of the times water from Coney Island beaches was sampled, the levels of bacteria exceeded the state limits. That means if you swim in Coney Island you have a 4%-9% chance of getting pink eye, dysentery, or not being able to wash that raw-sewage feeling off of your skin for weeks.
The good news? The Rockaways, home to Williamsburg’s-favorite-beachside-destination-cum-topless-haven Ft Tilden, the new Jelly Pool Parties, and the new food stands from Roberta’s and the Meat Hook, are clean! The NRDC reported zero instances of sewage contamination for all of the Rockaway beaches, which means now the only things you have to worry about is how to get out there, whether bed bugs can swim, and just why Jelly keeps insisting that Rockaway Beach is in Brooklyn.