Roberta’s owners in bitter fight – try to have one partner arrested


Our friends over at Roberta’s aren’t playing nice. The restaurant, which has a net worth in the millions, is looking to expand and one of its three partners Chris Parachini isn’t happy. With a “pending deal” in Asia and plans to open a restaurant on the premises of a new Ace Hotel on the Lower East Side,  partners Brandon Hoy and Carlo Mirarchi tried to buy Parachini out last year over financial disagreements. It didn’t go well:

The food fight started in December when partners Brandon Hoy and Carlo Mirarchi fired the co-founder of the Bushwick pizza mecca, Chris Parachini, over disagreements about expansion that led to buyout negotiations.

The talks broke down when Parachini turned his nose up at a $2 million offer to purchase his 25 percent share in the company. Parachini’s counter-offer was $2.9 million for Roberta’s and its spinoffs including a restaurant in the Rockaways and another $2.5 million for intellectual property. [Read more...]

This One Goes To Eleven: Weekly metal roundup

Sannhet---Revisionist-Front-Cover-Final-1500x1500This week we have instrumental opuses, powerviolence pits, black metal bands playing death metal, and some geographic drama all writhing, copulating, and cross breeding in this gaping, colorless void we call a column. It’s the end of days, as it is every Tuesday, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

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“Bushwick Girl” – let the snark begin


Last year, we had Catey Shaw’s “Brooklyn Girls.” It’s 2015 so of course someone felt compelled to record a follow-up. That someone is CHUCK.

Sample lyric:

On a Saturday
I went out looking for a sweetheart
Down at the Union Pool
Where I met a girl who drew some street art
She had Timberlands
And a neon orange beanie
She wore pajama pants
That had a stain from a cheese panini.
She drank lemonade
And her hair smelled like flowers
she only bought things fair trade….
She’s my Bushwick girl

Hold your breath for a few more weeks… we’re sure “Ridgewood Girls” is coming soon. Listen to “Bushwick Girls” below: [Read more...]

This One Goes To Eleven: Weekly metal roundup

cryptsermonIn a fit of domestication (and, in this case, transparency), I spent this past Sunday assembling IKEA furniture for my girlfriend. And as anyone who has ever spent their weekend assembling IKEA furniture can tell you, the only thing it makes you want to do is throw on something caustic and smash that pile of Swedish voodoo back into the splinters from whence it came. So here’s to that caustic something and the perhaps foolhardy hope that I can find solace in sonic destruction alone.

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Sofar Sounds invades living rooms in North Brooklyn

Photo by Max Rolon

Photo by Max Rolon

February 24 and 25, Sofar Sounds will turn apartments into music venues for a night, bringing strangers together to witness eclectic bills of local musicians.

Born in London in 2009, Sofar Sounds expanded to world living room domination, with locations peppering cities across six continents. The premise is simple. Friends sick of people talking over the music at shows decided to ditch traditional venues and bring musicians into homes for an intimate setting dedicated to enhancing the listening experience. No talking allowed. [Read more...]

This One Goes To Eleven: Weekly metal roundup

sumacAlright head count time, I just want to make sure everybody survived the one-two gut punch that was Valentine’s weekend and an Ulver-approved polar vortex. We all good? Hearts, minds, and frostbitten fingertips still intact? OK, alright, awesome. Now let’s get down to business.

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Top 5 shows of the weekend

jon spencer

It’s going to be a cold weekend, but it’s also going to be a long one so try to get out there and enjoy yourselves. Like above-freezing-temperatures, I’ll practice brevity.

5) Kleenex Girl Wonder, Wild White, Black River Manifesto at Silent Barn
Billed as a “post-love fest” for Sunday, you can get your jangle on at Silent Barn with Kleenex Girl Wonder and Wild White, neither band play particularly often so this is a good double-header. If you like something a bit dirtier and lot more bluesy, look no further than opening band Black River ManifestoSunday 8pm

Watch porn scripts on stage this Friday

first comes love


Valentine’s Day can be a sad reminder of your lonely, single life, or you can enjoy the upcoming holiday as the perfect excuse to drink copious amounts of wine, eat an entire box of chocolates and embrace your sexual freedom. One place to celebrate just that is at Pine Box Rock Shop this Friday to see “First Comes Love”  – a live performance of actual porn scripts. Yes, I’ll repeat – a live performance of actual porn scripts.

Comedian Kyle Ayers posted a fake job ad soliciting aspiring porn writers on Craigslist to send him their best stuff and after reading them quietly in his bathroom for years, debating how to share these masterpieces, he decided to let comedians and actors bring them to life on stage.

“It’s like a bad high school production of an adult film,” said Ayers.

The show began last year, and to celebrate its anniversary, Ayers is putting on a free performance just in time for Single’s Awareness Day. The date is no coincidence – he’s hoping everyone in the audience will find love… or at least get laid.

“I’d be lying if I didn’t say that literally every single person who comes to the show doesn’t leave super, duper horny.”