Breaking: Obama Makes iPhone Stocks App Green Again

After months of intense negotiations and billion dollar bailouts, it appears that Barack Obama, 44th President of the iUnited States of America, has finally fixed our stupid iPhone app for stocks and made it green again.
CNN is reporting that “(the iPhone) Stocks (app) end(ed) at multimonth highs on encouraging economic data. S&P ends above 900 for first time since January 8.(and it looks much prettier now),” and upon fact checking and following up it appears this is indeed true. It is beautiful.
Local iPhone and “the color green” enthusiast Elizabeth G. expressed her excitement to us over AIM. “It went up! Yay!,” she wrote, adding “Looks perrrty.”
We can indeed confirm that the Stocks iPhone app is green and on the up-swing once again. Apple has yet to respond to multiple requests for comment.


  1. yourmom says:

    Ding dong, It has nothing to do with Obama.

  2. This headline is like some kind of hipster trifecta parody or something. You couldn’t have made it anymore redundant even if you managed to find some way to mention American Apparel or Vice in there.

  3. Thank you, Andy, for “getting it”.

Speak Your Mind


− 7 = one