Ok, so everyone’s favorite embodiment of doom in Greenpoint, the mega-project Greenpoint Landing is getting two more massive “high-rise” buildings for “luxury residential rentals.”
30 and 40 stories each, these towers are terrible, just the worst.
These towers will steal your girlfriend. They’ll do all your drugs and ask to borrow five bucks. They’ll throw you under the bus at work and pocket a bottle of booze from your house party.
Oh, just a couple of assholes isn’t the end of the world, you’re thinking? Oh, how many assholes could it even possibly be?
Well, I’ll tell you: it’s exactly 1,557 assholes.
I’m making up that number but between the two towers we’re getting 780 apartment units, man. You do the math. Sit at the Bedford stop at rush hour and count all the yuppies commuting to Manhattan… and the Greenpoint stop on the G? Game over, man… Game over. The whole Greenpoint Landing development in total is a 10 building complex covering 22 acres with 5,500 housing units… so basically 10,000 new assholes on the G and L trains every Monday morning, Friday night and Saturday afternoon.
If you’re curious about the developers and architects, for what it’s worth, check out Brookfield Property Partners and Handel Architects. Maybe ask them if they have considered the insanely overcrowded transportation infrastructure of the neighborhood? Or just tweet at them? @BrookfieldProp and @HandelArch. Hell, throw everyone in the mix…
OMG love the #GreenpointLanding project… NOT! @Brookfieldprop @handelarch @MartyMarkowitz @NYGovCuomo @MTA @BilldeBlasio @NYCMayorsOffice
Then, just for shits and giggles, demonstrate this development’s contribution to the neighborhood: take a pitcher of water, and pour it into a full glass of water…
Welcome to Greenpoint!