Creepy, Pervy Plushies Introduce New Character: Death Bear

Death-Bear-alone-in-doorway.jpg The plushie spokesperson warns us that some may see Death Bear and feel “intimidated by his stature,” but we still find the pervy fish WAY more creepy. From our mailbag:

We all have someone or something we would rather just forget. Things fall apart. Love hurts. Dreams die. But when you summon Death Bear to your door, you can rest assured that help has come. At first you may be intimidated by his stature and color (7 feet tall with a hard, black bear head, black jumpsuit, and black boots), but absorbing the memories of others is a dark art, and Death Bear must present himself appropriately for this solemn duty. Death Bear will take things from you that trigger painful memories and stow them away in his cave where they will remain forever allowing you to move on with your life. Give him an ex’s clothes, old photos, mementos, letters, etc. Death Bear is
here to assist you in your time of tragedy, heartbreak, and loss. Let Death Bear help you, and absorb your pain into his cave.
*Death Bear is a member of Club Animals, a pop-performance art group in New York City founded in 2008. We are best known for the Free Bouncy Rides, Candy Crack Delivery Service, and Bunny Butterfly Kisses.
Saturday, November 21st, 2009
and Sunday, November 22nd, 2009
Serving all Brooklyn only
Text 347-742-2293 for an appointment


Introducing the Miss G Train Semi-Finalists

On Thursday night, Williamsburg’s own City Reliquary will reset the course of history as the museum crowns one of its 18 semi-finalists with the worldly title of Miss G Train 2009!
It’s been a long, lonely summer, as humanity crawled back to a point of sustainability following the disaster that was the Miss Williamsburg pageant. Just one year ago, faux-pageants watchers of this fine city were so deeply scarred after its accusations of vote rigging and insider dealings that some said they’d never go to another fake pageant established for publicity reasons again!
But perhaps the Gods of the Reliquary have found in their wits humanity’s one chance to redeem last year’s eternal sin and rightfully bestow the crown, the people’s crown, atop the glistening head of our new queen.
But who will she be? Let’s take a look-sie at our favorite contestants! Last names have been removed, but you know where to find them. Feel free to handicap in the comments. Just to play, I’m guessing it’ll be either Erica, Jessica, or “Thorgy.”
Anastasia F. – She’s a blogger with a tumblr blog and will be playing the tambourine!
Jessica D.According to Wikipedia, she “jokes about vaginas and other sexual or dark topics” and plays a rape whistle. She also sent them a photo of herself nearly naked covered only by money. (link nsfw!)
Marleah M. – Marleah is a Gowanus resident who comes to Greenpoint for haircuts.
Colleen S.– Colleen is a young journalism student who starts her poem with, “Hi Brooklyn, or anyone listening.” America’s listening don’t you worry.
Elizabeth K.– Here we have a television producer who “almost never smell(s) like urine and would never, ever let a homeless person ride me.” Oh oh!
Anne S. – Anne’s a fashion blogger and “community reporter for The New York Times’ Fort Greene-Clinton Hill blog” and is our new Twitter friend.
Monica W. – Monica plans to use the G train as a nuclear disaster contingency escape plan one day.
Natasha L. – She still uses the word “phat.” Never let them tell you that’s not cool, Natasha.
Erica S. – Hey, she’s a free williamsburg friendly! She added more poetry to her submission though…
Rebecca K H. – Rebecca quotes Nietzsche!
Stacey B. – Stacey is funny because she wrote ‚”G Skreeeeeechhhh!!!”
Shane T. a.k.a. ‚”Thorgy” – “Thorgy” has a pretty good shot at winning this thing because he’s been on Rupaul’s Drag Race, Season 2 and might be a potential fameball in the making. He notes he’d like to show his face “everywhere.”
There are more. Perhaps our future queen is hiding in the rough. But good luck to all you lovelies. We wish you the best, and rest easy knowing the winners and losers have a standing interview offer waiting right here once you’re finished.

New Beach House Single: "Norway"

You can grab it here. Here’s an acoustic version of the single [via Gorilla vs Bear]. We can’t wait to hear the whole record.

Ticket Giveaway: Nneka with The Roots Tonight At Highline

We’ve been loving Nneka’s debut new single “Uncomfortable Truth.” She’s playing tonight at Highline with The Roots and we’ve got a pair of tickets to giveaway. Comment on our Facebook page for a chance to win! We’ll announce the winner at 4pm.

New Photo Gallery Set to Open This Weekend

Attention photo aficionados: K&K is a new photography gallery located at 109 Broadway (between Bedford and Berry). They are hosting an opening reception this Friday from 7-10 pm featuring their first group show.
Check it out, yay for thriving art!

Between Two Ferns With Andy & Conan

FYI: Buzz Band BOAT Playing Bruar Falls Tonight

BOAT, who dropped their Setting The Paces LP on October 27th, are a band that you either know, or you don’t. Whenever I drop a mention of these Real Estate-gone-Hot Hot Heat sexing it with Adam Green tunes (yeah, I said it), I either get an excited affirmation or Scooby Doo ears. Anyway, they’re awesome, so check out the show tonight.
Doors @ 8pm- If anyone has more info on when they go on, please drop your knowledge in the comments.
Also, they remind me a bit of a little local band we’ve been loving


OhioParty 11-13-09