I Am an Op-Ed Columnist (And So Can You!)

It’s shameless self-promotion of course (since his book is about to come out) but Stephen Colbert penned Maureen Dowd’s column yesterday. Here’s a sample:

Surprised to see my byline here, aren’t you? I would be too, if I read The New York Times. But I don’t. So I’ll just have to take your word that this was published. Frankly, I prefer emoticons to the written word, and if you disagree ­čÖü
I’d like to thank Maureen Dowd for permitting/begging me to write her column today. As I type this, she’s watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize Abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito. Which reminds me: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:
Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.
There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.

Needless to say, the rest is worth checking out too.

Al Gore Gets Nobel Prize For Misinforming People

It’s not our style to get preachy about what people eat, but the inconvenient truth about Al Gore’s green campaign is that factory farming is more responsible for global warming than SUVs. It’s a fact he’s afraid to discuss. From the NY Times

In late November, the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization issued a report stating that the livestock business generates more greenhouse gas emissions than all forms of transportation combined
“We know that vegetarian organizations have sometimes made exaggerated health and environmental claims, but that U.N. report is an impartial, unimpeachable source of statements we can quote,” said Matt Ball, executive director of Vegan Outreach.
Like Mr. Prescott, Mr. Ball is incensed that high-profile people like Al Gore — or environmental groups with deeper pockets than his — have not stepped up to the plate.
“Al Gore calls global warming an existential risk to humanity, yet it hasn’t prompted him to change his diet or even mention vegetarianism,” he complained. “And I guess the environmentalists recognize that it’s a lot easier to ask people to put in a fluorescent light bulb than to learn to cook with tofu.”…
Mr. Gore declined to make himself available for comment.

And here’s the report from the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization.

This Makes Us Happy

[Thanks Pete]

King Corn New York Premiere Tonight

Our friend, Ian Cheney’s, new documentary King Corn is premiering tonight at Cinema Village. If you liked Supersize Me and Fast Food Nation, King Corn will be right up your alley. The Boston Globe calls it “enormously entertaining” and The New York Times featured it yesterday here.
Where: Cinema Village
When: Opens tonight. The film is only scheduled to be at Cinema Village for four days, unless enough people go to see this important film. Help to extend the run and buy your ticket now.

KING CORN tells the story of two friends, one acre of corn, and the subsidized crop that drives our fast-food nation. As the film unfolds, IanCheney and Curt Ellis, best friends from college on the east coast, move to the heartland to learn where their food comes from. With the help of friendly neighbors, genetically modified seeds, and powerful herbicides, they plant and grow a bumper crop of America’s most-productive, most-ubiquitous grain on one acre of Iowa soil. But when they try to follow their pile of corn into the food system, what they questions about how we eat–and how we farm

Greenpoint Likely To Stink For Years

This is fucking disgusting. From Gridskipper

The smell, which comes from the nearby Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant, arrived six weeks ago ages ago and has somehow gotten worse in both smell and intensity this month.A friend of Gridskipper and Greenpoint resident describes it thusly, “It’s smells like your grandma is cooking a meatball stew, but instead of meatballs it’s crap and it’s blowing right through your window.” AM New York has a piece today saying that the smell is not likely to go away for a couple more years. The DEP tells them they are replacing key pieces of equipment and the smell will go away in ’09 when “the thickening centrifuges will be in full operation.”

St. Vincent & The National at Terminal 5

We’re excited about tonight’s show at Terminal 5. The National have become a staple, but we’re yet to see the wonderful St. Vincent live. Her record, Marry Me, is among our favorites of the year. Here’s St. Vincent performing The Beatle’s “Dig a Pony” in a cab [via The Daily Growl]

Offsprung's Guide To Hipster Parents: Part II

Neal Pollack was nice enough to run my latest installment here. In case you missed the first installment, “The MisShapes Of Parenting” can be found here.

Fancy Cocktails On Grand: Huckleberry Bar

image c/o NY Mag
Anybody been? Let us know what you think here.