Williamsburg officially becomes an adjective

The last time we checked, The Gap was referring to the horrible, yet omnipresent skinny jean cut as “hipster.” Currently, we refuse to go to The Gap—those horrible Claire Danes ads are inexcusable—but a tipster sent us the above image from the Gap on 5th Avenue. Apparently, in the world of fashion Williamsburg now officially means “annoyingly trendy,” “androgynously thin,” and/or “should never, ever be worn by adult males who aren’t Lou Reed.” Look for the Webster’s inclusion next year.

Check it out: Lightning Bolt at 3rd Ward 3/24

If you want to see two dudes making the noise of twenty men, go check out Lightning Bolt and be sure to bring earplugs. One of the noisier noise bands around, Lightning Bolt pay tribute to the Boredoms and the Ruins, and manage to get some free jazz in amongst all the cacophony. I reviewed opener Barr’s new record a while back and found it to be a little bit of a disappointment, but maybe his spoken word rants will sound better live. Make sure to show up early for the crazy, spastic genius of former The Planet The front man Charlie’s new solo act, Panther.
:: Lightning Bolt
:::: BARR
:::::: Marnie Stern
:::::::: Ecstatic Sunshine
::::::::::: High Places
:: Panther ——> x the Planet the
[ 3RD WARD ]
195 Morgan Ave @ Stagg | East Williamsburg, Brooklyn
L to Morgan | 9pm till late | $10 | all ages | 3rdwardbrooklyn.org
-Cortney Harding

Check it out: Ellen Allien and Miss Kittin 3/24 at Studio B

Ellen Allien’s DJ sets often last well past last call ‚Äì when I saw her a few years back in Portland, she was still spinning as the bar staff booted people out. Allien spins an experimental blend of techno and electro music that somehow manages to be danceable, and radiates calm, German cool from behind her laptop and decks. Opener Miss Kittin comes across as a less-hokey version of Peaches; she certainly likes talking about fucking, but manages to be more than a one-trick pony. I still haven’t managed to make a dance party at Studio B, but I can only imagine the fog machine will be in full effect.
Details: Sat 3/24, 10:00 PM, Studio B in Greenpoint, 18+, $12.50a/$15d
-Cortney Harding

Nineties Nostalgia videos: Hazel and Velocity Girl

A couple blasts from the past to get your week off to a good start:

Hazel, “Comet”

Velocity Girl, “Sorry Again”
-Cortney Harding

Dylan Hears A Who

This is hilarious. A dead-on spoof of Dylan singing songs with Dr. Seus lyrics. Download ’em all at Dylan Hears a Who. [via WFMU]

Cracked Magazine's 20 Worst Cover Songs in Pop Music History

If the above cover of “You Shook Me All Night Long” by Celine Dion and Anastasia doesn’t make you vomit blood, you’re stronger than us. See the whole, horrible list here. We especially *enjoy* the Duran Duran cover of P.E.’s “911 is a Joke.”

God Tube: Christian Clown Training

First there was Conservapedia. Now there’s GodTube.
If this is what happens when you get old, kill us now:

Ram John Holder: Black London Blues

The incomparable WFMU blog has an interesting out-of-print blues record by Ram John Holder available for download.

“Black London Blues” was an LP recorded by the acclaimed British stage, screen, and TV actor Ram John Holder in 1969. I bought it as a youngster (my copy is on the US Phillips label) for 47 cents in a Woolworth’s cutout bin. The cover is a moribund B&W photo of a gussied-up Ram in an abject ghetto; no liner notes, no personnel listing. Every cut is titled the “(something) Blues”, and the track playing times on the label are different than those on the cover by several seconds, and I think neither is correct. My pre-pubescent friends and I used to howl with laughter listening to it (even though the cover scared the hell out of us), and, as with many things you hear when you’re too young to understand them, it wasn’t until years later that I was able to see the musical virtues of it.

Check it out here.